Emma's radio broadcast

You're listening to Blonde Bazzar on radio station 123.
In Dreadful news Kate Eagle-in-a-tin has lost all her eagles! "He kicked soccer-balls at them I KNOW HE DID! '' she says. Police are searching the area for a grey feathered bird.
In other news, Renee has caused traffic-jam on the big high-way after panicking at the turn off near the amazing mazin maze. 2 Magpies attacked her car and ended up brain damaged and a lil whoopee. Renee has been flown to the hospital and is suffering from severe damage of her finger-nails. What's with the birds here peoples! CANT YOU JUST STAY AWAY FROM THEM, GOSH!!!
You're listening to Blonde Bazzar Daaaaaah on radio station 123. The time is ( time )
Let's take a break and put some sounds on. But before we do can I just say Brown ears please stay in your seat because your dance is a lil bit….you know….DISTURBING! here is _____(song)_______ by ___(band)__________. (song ends) You're listening to Blonde Bazzar on radio station 123. The time is ( time ).
Now its time for lost and never found.
Lost, 10 cents. If found please ring Mr Lepricorn .
Also lost, a black wig if found you know who to ring
Lost, an arm from the surgical unit. Reward: a jolly good whack!
And theres nothing found cos everyone's to dumb to hand it in.
You're listening to Blonde Bazzar Daaaaaah on radio station 123.
Is your house always getting broken into?
Is that so called guard dog a hibernater?
Then if so call danielle's le leave it alone security system.
It's 100% Blondtasic.
If this item does not reach your expectations then just lower your expectations.
Ph: 0800-83-83-83
Do you need a bad haircut?
Then come into Joshua Mower-Mullets.
He does 3-19m mullets and 2cm moe-hawkes.
With his lawn mowing skills you'll scream and run. so come into Joshua Mower-Mullets ph: 911 Where everyone gets a rip-off. You're listening to Blonde Bazzar Daaaaaah on radio station 123.
Now for a interview with Renee Blondewasser.
Me: hello Renee
Renee: oh hello
Me: so Renee what was it like this week?
Renee: wah??
Me: I mean like your mag-pie incident and moving into ward-8 of Blonde Mansion?
Renee: haha! That was funny! Can you say that again??
Me: NO sorry we're on a tight budget so… CAN YOU JUST ANSWER??
Renee: FINE THEN!!! It's really cool because I don't have to drive one of those petrol thingys that toot and they have 3 wheels.
Me: Renee, those are known as cars and by the way they have 4 wheels its just you pulled the 4th wheel off.
Renee: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah... eow! I knew that GOSH! Anyway oh man… I forgot what I was gonna say
Me: yeah as usual
Renee: can I get fries with that oh wait maybe I can get the grumpymeal with a cute lil toy.
Me: aha yeah that's nice, Oh would you look at the time you need to go?
Renee: No I don't. They said I can pick my McDonald's up later.
Me: Yeah well too bad we don't want you here. Sooooooo byebye.
Renee: But I still need to teach the world!
Me: Yeah well…. I'm sure they would use your knowledge. Bye Renee. SECURITY!
Renee: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH my nail!
You were just listening to Renee Blondewasser on Blonde Bazzar on radio station 123.
The time is ( time ). Now over to Brendan for the weather. Well kia ora Blondes this is the W.E.A.T.H.E.R aka the weather. There's a few brunettes heading for the hills and light showers of gingers going up south to the red sea. A few blacks are on their way to the coast. And whites are slowly clamping on mountain ranges.
-5 degrees down south so blondes get your bikinis on and lots of lotion!
39 degrees on the coast so put your winter warmies on cause it could get a lil chilly on the………nevermind.
So remember to be a bright lil blonde!
Thanks Brendan.
You're listening to Blonde Bazzar daaaaaah on radio station 123.
Is your wife getting too annoying?? Then call Miles Sigh-eat-her.
He will come down with his chihuahua and eat her.
All you got to do is...(sigh) EAT HER and then he'll come. It's as easy as 1 2 3. So call in the next ten minutes and you'll get not 1 chawawa not 2 but 3 chawawa's. She'll communicate live from the chawawa's stomach! TERMS AND CONDITIONS MAY APPLY please ask your parents 1st. Oh that was a great ad I can hear sooooooo many people calling that out. Man I need some ear-muffs. Any way….. at the Station we've got a competition running for the best wig. OMG there's actually some very lets say interesting wigs worn by the people. The crowds going wild. Which 1 will the judges pick. Oh and we've got a winner….. The winner is….. Renee Fawlwasser for the most disgisted wig . Congratulations Renee you've won a scholarship to Blonders University down at the bottom of the world!
Oh well sorry guys we're running out of time so we'll see you next week with Brunette Bazzar tata!